An Imagined Conversation Between Myself and This Shopbop Model

Me: So, how are things?

Shopbop Model: Good, good. Things are good.

Me: How's the family? The family good?

Shopbop Model: They're fine, yeah, they're doing well.

Me: Good. And work? How's that going for you?

Shopbop Model: It's really great. This shopbop gig has got me some other offers and I think it's gonna be a really good year for me.

Me: That's fantastic! How about your love life?

Shopbop Model: Umm...Actually it's not so good. It's really bad, to be honest. It's kinda hard for me to talk about, but, well, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with my mo--

Me: YOU'RE WEARING A TOWEL.

Shopbop Model: What?

Me: WITH HEELS.

Shopbop Model: Wait, this? No, no, this is a dress.

Me: Yeah, that's a towel.

Shopbop Model: But it costs $500!

Me: Yeah, that's a really overpriced towel.

Shopbop Model: But it has sequins!

Me: I bought a sequined towel once. From Hilo Hattie. It said "MAUI" on it in silver sequins. And it was a towel.

Shopbop Model: Really? Why would you buy a sequined towel?

Me: I don't know. It hurt really bad so I gave it away.

Shopbop Model: Good call.